It's All in How You React

I don't know that I would have handled this situation anywhere near as well as this mother did! When she found these stickers on her car commenting on her "Autistic Child" informational placard, she could have responded in anger. Or by crumpling in a heap.

These placards provide important information for first responders in case of an accident, especially for those with limited experience dealing with kids on the autism spectrum. Clearly, whoever placed these stickers (spelling issues aside), doesn't know or care what challenges autism can pose. I know there are people who don't believe that autism is a real thing (I know some of them), and I also know it can sometimes be hard to distinguish between a child on the autism spectrum and a child with neurotypical discipline problems, but anonymously putting mean-spirited comments on someone's car is cowardly and juvenile. (I mean really, whatever happened to people dropping off a pie at the new neighbor's house?)

Believe me, nobody chooses an autism spectrum disorder for her child! I could go on and on, but for now suffice it to say, take the worry of the parent of a neurotypical child and multiply it by a bazillion. The parent of a child on the autism spectrum, especially a nonverbal one and/or one prone to wandering, is always on alert. Not to mention having to deal with this kind of "welcome."

Back to the mom in the story. She went around her new neighborhood trying to find out who did this, to help explain the reality of what autism means for her and her child. Not surprisingly, no one confessed to placing the stickers, but she still took the opportunity to educate her new neighbors on autism. Good for her!

We all face situations like this, actions based in ignorance or misunderstanding. Counting to 10 (or 100) and reacting with patience and poise is the resilient response. Maybe you make a new friend or customer, or maybe you just increase understanding. Either way, you've shown you're a class act.

for more, here's the news story and video

Take a Chance

Don't be so scared of changing
And rearranging yourself
It's time for jumping down from the shelf
A little bit

(from Georgy Girl, by Tom Springfield & Jim Dale)

Getting stuck in a rut is the opposite of resilience. Being open to new opportunities, ways of doing things, systems, programs, etc. is part of bouncing back when old ways just aren't cutting it. (Of course, sometimes older ways become new again, I'm talking about keeping all options open.)

Be Kind - It's Free!

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." Philo

A simple truth for living a resilient life! Being nice can actually be good for you--when you make someone else feel good, you feel it, too. The simple act of sharing a smile can ease your own stress. 

You know what your struggles and stresses are--the point here is you are not alone! You also know what a little kindness means to you--again, you are not alone. And many kind acts cost you nothing. A smile, a kind word, holding a door open. Some actions do cost you, but very little. Let the person with one item go ahead of you in the checkout line, let that car merge in front of you, take an extra moment to pay a compliment. 

Of course, if you can afford the time or money for more extravagant acts of kindness, by all means do some!

For more, check out this article "Cool to be Kind."

Hey Y'all, Watch This!

Sometimes, there's just no hope for resilience. I just heard a news story about a young man jogging on the railroad tracks. Can you guess the ending? Yup, hit and killed by a train. Not only was he tempting fate by jogging along the tracks, he had earbuds in, so he made doubly sure the outcome would be bad. This on the heels of the story of the man who set off fireworks from the top of his head. I kid you not. Yes, he died, too.

If planning for emergencies and disasters seems complicated, it doesn't have to be. Often, it is the simple choices that can make the most difference. Take this woman's instructional video on how to avoid being attacked by a shark: Stay out of the Shark's House! She's great, isn't she (aside from making a video in the car -- eek!)? Simple, practical advice. Don't take a careless risk.

There are plenty of other simple choices you can make today. Here's two to get you started: toss a pair of sneakers in the trunk of your car - just in case, and check that locked door at the back of the building you work in - has somebody propped it open "just for a second" and then wandered off, leaving your otherwise secure building vulnerable?

Moving On

Another thought on turning the page to a new day from 2 Samuel 12:

20 Then David got up from the ground. After he had washed, put on lotions and changed his clothes, he went into the house of the Lord and worshiped. Then he went to his own house, and at his request they served him food, and he ate.21 His attendants asked him, “Why are you acting this way? While the child was alive, you fasted and wept, but now that the child is dead, you get up and eat!”22 He answered, “While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept. I thought, ‘Who knows? The Lord may be gracious to me and let the child live.’ 23 But now that he is dead, why should I go on fasting? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me.”

David's situation was pretty horrific -- the better to instruct, I suppose -- screwing up big time and losing a child. He knew what he had done, and that it was over and he couldn't change it nor would dwelling on his punishment make any difference. Time to move on. Put on clean clothes, a fresh attitude, and do what needs to be done for today and the future.

The ability to leave the past behind, no matter how traumatic, is certainly not easy. Sometimes we just want to wallow and accept the sympathy of caring friends. And I think that is okay for a while. Let it out, vent a bit. But, the problem comes when you go on too long and get stuck. Your friends will tire of it after a while. You don't want to live in their old hurts either! Today is a new day, full of promise and opportunity. Watch the sunrise. Make a to do list. Don't miss out.

And just in case you need a little musical inspiration, "Let It Go!" (Yes, I did just go there.)

A Step Forward to Resilience

Yes, it has been a while. I've been dealing with issues of resilience in my own life--physical, professional, financial, spiritual, you name it. But, with healing underway, I am back.

I'm still in the process of finding my path forward, but I do know that it is forward, always forward, not backward. It's okay to look back for direction or inspiration, but it does no good to stay in the past.

My plan to start is to share a quote each day (or at least most days) that speaks to me of resilience. I'll warn you right now, many of these will be from the Bible. If that bothers you, please just move along. I have no intention of preaching at anyone or passing any judgement, just drawing strength and inspiration for myself and sharing that with you, so I hope you'll stay.

The quote for today is from Psalm 147:

8 He covers the sky with clouds;
    he supplies the earth with rain
    and makes grass grow on the hills.
9 He provides food for the cattle
    and for the young ravens when they call.

10 His pleasure is not in the strength of the horse,
    nor his delight in the legs of the warrior;
11 the Lord delights in those who fear him,
    who put their hope in his unfailing love.

Yes, it is raining as I write this. I personally like the rain (most of the time!). A gentle rain like what is falling now is peaceful. And it means I don't have to drag out the hose to water the gardens. But the main point for me today is that God provides regardless of our individual strength. He delights when we put our trust in Him, but he provides for all just because we need it.

For me lately, I know that I can't do it on my own. I rely, certainly often not willingly, on family, friends, colleagues, and even "the kindness of strangers." [Aside: It never ceases to amaze me how much a kind word or smile from a cashier can brighten my day. I try to remember that and be the tiny ray of sunshine for someone else. Doesn't always happen, but I'm trying to do better!]

I'd rather be able to do it on my own, to have all the strength I need. But I can't. And that is okay. We are all in this together. When I'm weak, others are strong. When you are weak, hopefully I (or someone else more directly in your life) can be strong for you. It's okay to accept the support. That is part of being resilient--it helps you bounce back.

Are You Ready to Use Your Defibrillator?

You might have one of those emergency defibrillators in your office or building. It seems they're being installed everywhere lately. But, does anyone know how to use it? Much like the fire extinguisher, if no one can use it, it won't be much help when you need it. Yours may have an automatic alarm to call for help if the case is opened, but it will still take some time--perhaps critical moments--for first responders to arrive.

The recent story of the Southwest Airlines passenger who died from an in-flight heart attack brings attention to the need for training on this valuable emergency tool. Flight attendants didn't immediately start to use the defibrillator because the ailing passenger had a hairy chest. They knew that a hairy chest would interfere with the functioning of the device, but they apparently didn't realize that these emergency defibrillators come with a shaving kit for just such an eventuality. We can't know whether prompt use of the defibrillator would have saved the man, but clearly there was a tragic gap in training.

Again, it takes time for first responders to get to you. Training on your emergency plan and tools is crucial to keeping everyone in your place of business--employees and customers--safe in case of a crisis. Make sure enough of your staff know where these tools are and how to use them.

Of course, if you are the one with the heart condition and the hairy chest, make sure your co-workers and travel companions know it is okay to shave your chest in case of emergency!

Read the news report here.